I think I need it. The kind you have in a hotel where they come in and change the sheets every day. Things have simply gotten out of hand lately. It seems like the moment I get those crisp, fresh sheets put back on the bed within hours they are so soiled it looks like vials of human fluid blew up in the room. I don’t even get a chance to get between them, you know, when you pull them down from a starchily made bed, pull the covers back and jump in. That cool feeling you get…a combination of cleanliness and homey that insures your compass is set north and a good night sleep assured. No. Instead, severe fucking takes place. Lots of semen, vaginal fluid and spit coat the white sheets. It doesn’t take long to realize that wherever you place a leg, arm or torso -it’s wet there. I would imagine that if the CSI folks came in, lit up the room with one of those lights that show body fluids, it’d be like a tornado alarm going off in the Mid-West, I’d be arrested and held for questioning immediately.
I should call up the “Merry” Maid service.