So I start a text message thread with the only Southern Man I know out here, Danny. It goes something like this:
Me: I’m just about to sit my ass down to black eyed peas, collard greens and catfish. How you doin?
Me: Damnit. Its the one thing I’m missing. At least I’m in the air conditioner.
Danny: You lyin’ ass bitch, cause u wud of mentioned the cole slaw and sweet tea goddamnit! Now what’s really goin’ on?
Me: Oh shit, you caught me. I’m eating the blackeyed peas & collard greens from a can and I bought the catfish from Costco. Shit. Shit.
Danny: Greens from a can? U homesick mutherfucker! U know ur one sick southern bastard but i love ya man.