It is a symbiotic relationship –in the true sense of the word. Those two needs are so intertwined, so dovetailed that one cannot reach their own sexual needs without the other. It transcends love, relationships. It is raw and purely selfish. It is a paradox because it reflects back so much to those who receive it. One cannot be sexually satisfied without the proper attention of the other. It is a construct that cannot be realized without these two disparate desires coming together. They need one another.
BDSM Observations (I whittled it down to three):
It can be really, really difficult for a “hard bottom” to find a “Top” that can give them what they need safely, consensually, with trust and to the proper degree of intensity. It is a relationship that requires a history or a preceding reputation before it can work properly. I’m talking about the really intense shit here, people.
It can be really, really difficult for a ” hard Top” to locate what they need in a bottom. To find someone whose intensity level matches your own. And even if you do you cannot slip right in and treat someone the way you need, the way the symbiotic sub needs as well, without a level of trust, of history there.
If you are a switch, and specifically if you are a man, finding that symbiotic relationship is even more difficult. I mean, how many females are remote, mean AND know how to use rope/metal/mental gymnastics? Where is SirC these days?
If there is one thing I’ve learned in speaking with people here: Most folks are searching.